A Six Pack Won’t Fix Your Life
I hear a lot about peoples’ body issues in my work. What they don’t like, what they want to change, how they want to look. I often joke that if not for vanity, low self-esteem, and narcissism, I’d be out of a job–along with all the plastic surgeons in LA.
It’s an interesting conflict of interest that every fitness trainer has to live with–the job SHOULD be to put yourself out of a job–that is, the goal should be to get your clients feeling SO good about themselves physically–not to mention in such great shape AND so empowered and educated on how to keep getting better–that you’re no longer necessary.
It doesn’t really happen that way. There is, in fact, such an endless, bottomless bounty of low self esteem and poor body image out there, that my job is, happily and sadly, quite secure. And it almost doesn’t matter how good a person looks; I have clients who wouldn’t look out of place in fashion spreads who still feel terrible about how they look.
I almost feel like we feel like we don’t have permission to feel okay abut how we look; that hating our bodies is just part of who we are, culturally. Could we even picture what it would be like to say, “Hey, I look pretty good today,” and just own that, without apology or qualification?
I get the sense that many of my clients–and people who talk about fitness to me–are putting their lives on hold until they achieve some long-held ideal of how they’re supposed to look. And, yes, it almost always has to do with how they look, not how they feel or how they perform: no one says, “I’ll start dating again when I can break 60 seconds in the 400.” Nope–they say, ‘when I’m a size 6,’ or ‘when I have a 6-pack.’”
It’s almost as if people believe that, once they’ve reached that magical land of size 6 or six-pack, everything will be perfect. Suddenly the bills won’t need paying. The economy will turn around. Your dog will spontaneously housebreak himself. Is it because when we see photos of six-packed guys and lean, lithe, athletic women, that they’re never toiiing away in some mindless job like everyone else, but lounging around on beaches, looking dreamy and satisfied with their lives?
Nate Miyaki, a natural bodybuilder and writer for T-Nation, wrote recently
Six-packs are meaningless in the real world. Trust me. I’ve had one for a long time and other than making me a few pennies, it’s gotten me nowhere.
Having fitness goals is great. Wanting to be better is great. Having ideals to aspire to is great. But when you become a size 6 or a six-packed dude, you’ll still be you–same problems, same hang-ups, same strengths and weaknesses. And sadly, if you’re someone who has hated his or her body because it’s too fat or too weak or too slow all your life, I suspect you’ll find a way to keep hating it.
Unless you find a way to approach fitness not as a fix for problems but as a practice, an exploration, and an affirmation of what you’re capable of rather than a way to discipline and fix and shape.
Building strength, working hard, exerting yourself are important and worthy endeavors. Yes, exercise can reshape your body. But far more important is that it can make you feel capable, get you focused on what you can do rather than what you can’t.
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